


Fuckin' with You(No literally)

by TheLazerBeam



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: "Because your on my fuck list"- Harry Potter 2018, A very Crackity Crack fic I guess, Antiginny!, Can i flirt with death? Harry asked, Everyones alive bro, FUCK U FUCK U AND FUCK U, Fight me ill kick my foot so far up your ass youll taste it, Harry Potter likes fucking with people, Harry always looks sexy, Hell yas my brotha from another universe xd, Imma Ginnyhater, M/M, My luanguae, Sassy Harry Potter, What is up Harry, rare pairs, see?, shes a bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-24 11:46:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14354805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLazerBeam/pseuds/TheLazerBeam
Summary: When Harry is bored that is not a good thing.  When I'm bored that is not a good thing.  When- you should get the point.  Let the girls be jealous because all males comin after dat ass.  Ginny comes in? I'm beating that ass Monday through Wednesday, In court Thursday, if im in jail bail me out Friday, and I'm coming back for dat ass Saturday. XDDDDD"ANYWAY Lets go to another universe death?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again with another story :p  
> Ill probably update my pjf one of these days xd maybe not maybe i will but look forward to dis story! Tried to make it as long as possible until my imagination burned out for the day.~.

"Mors."

"Yes Master Hadrian?"

"I'm bored. And tired,  I need a vacation."

"Ok Master. "

"You don't care do you?"

"No Master."

 ** _"UGGGGHHHH I HATE YOU!"_** and in that moment of rage Harry backhanded all the stacks of paperwork off of his desk and onto the floor. "You know that does nothing right Master? If you want a vacation why not ask for one?" 

"I SWEAR TO MERLIN I WILL HURT YOU!" 

"Is that your best threat Master?"

"Well can I have a vacation Mors?"

"After you just threatened me? I might die Master Hadrian!" he said in fake panic. "Shut your pineapple can Mors. Just gimme a break?..... Please? I'll be extra smextra good?" 

"Smextra is not a word Maste-" "~Does it look like I giva fuck?~" "No Mas-" "Just lemme have a break got damnit."

A chuckle. 

"Ok Master!"

**_ ~~Dont Hurt meh,  Just a Time skip~~ _ **

Being the Master of Death was not easy at all. You think it's just you go to hell here or you go to heaven there. Or into people's houses I'm gonna reap your soul Muahah-No. Paperwork. Meetings. Annoying Major god meetings. Paperwork. And more paperwork.

Life is not simple. Nor is Fate. They fight all the time at the meetings. Fucking annoying women gods, suck faces and be happy damnit. 

"Are you ready Master? Your new identity and vaults are all in place, so is your living house and backround. I should warn you of the goddess of Love. She fully intends to mess with this life because she didn't in the others." Great. Just Great. Aph has decided to mess with his business. Again. 

"Well Mors. Let's see where this takes us! Off to Universe 09678 for some fun!"

"Good luck Master I'll see you when you visit or call."

Stepping through a black portal Harry was gone from the plane of death and into Universe 09678.

~~ _**Another Time Skip You Ask!?!?!?!?** _ ~~

Landing in another universe was not fun. Nor was landing on your ass of course. "Ouch Ow that hurt like a moutherfucker! Where in Morgana am I?" Harry brushed a bit of his waist long black hair away from his emerald green eyes. He looked down. ' _Thank Merlin,  I'm not a girl again. I hate having a period. And having so much weight on my chest my nipples are just fine thankyouverymuch.'_

Transfiguring a leaf into wizarding clothing on his body he got up and started walking where he felt magical energy. After walking for a few minutes he found he was in KnockTurn Alley. 

_'Best to get shopping done here anyway, but first off to Gringotts!"_

Exiting KnockTurn Alley he made his way to Diagon Alley and into Gringotts. He bowed to the goblins guarding the door and walked up to a teller. He appeared to be in an 11 year old body so he had to look up. 

Hadrian smiled with all teeth. "Good day BloodFang. I would like to see Feners head of Gringotts."

The goblin immediately knew not to ask questions. The smell of the death god was on this little child, he was not to be played with. 

"This way. Your name child?"

"Hadrian. Until I find out my last name in this world." 

The goblin grunted and soon they arrived to a door with a name plate on it that read 'Feners'(Fen-erz).

The goblin knocked and the door opened. "Yes BloodFang? Who is this child?" 

"Hadrian, Feners. Death didn't tell of my arrival?" 

"Ah my apologies Master of Death. Come sit down. "

Feners made a movement for BloodFang to leave and Hadrian sit down.  "I have the paperwork right here." Feners then handed the paperwork to Hadrian who then looked through it. "Good, good. Hadrian Green? Well it's good enough not like I'm complaining."

Feners slid a card to Hadrian. "A Gringotts card, has all vaults of your choice connected to it. If that it all good day Master of Death."

Hadrian quickly left Gringotts but stopped by a cage with an owl in it. It wasn't Hedwing no and he could never replace her, shes in owl heaven now. This owl was pure black with grey eyes and sharp talons. The owl reminded him of someone, then realization dawned upon him.

"Dea-Mors!? What are you doing here!?" he said in a hushed whisper then he heard a voice in his mind. 

**_'I was lonely too Master... This sounds weird but buy me please I've been in this cage for an hour I don't like it. '_ **

.....

"I would laugh but I would look crazy. Excuse me! How much for this owl?"

"Take it! Been givin me the creeps anyway. No money just get it outta here!"

"Sheesh customer service is soo very nice here.... Let's go Mors! Shopping Spree Galore!"

 

 

~~ _**Next Chapter Hadrian's Shopping.                                   Spree!?** _ ~~


	2. Hadrian's Shopping Spree!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to clear sum shits up XD   
> This is not time travel really, more of crossing different universes, so people like Lily Potter/Evans and Abraxas Malfoy are still alive. If your wondering I'll have family members like the Malfoy's all brothers. The oldest being a year from the second oldest, so on and so forth. Snape's also not hella greasy. Unlike Peter Pettigrew, we'll have to fix that. And fix that I mean eliminating him......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :p

Even though Hadrian didn't get his letter yet he assumed he'd be getting it soon. So while here he was going to do his shopping.  _'Mors, you can leave if you'd like after shopping I have to go back to Gringotts. Or you can go there and get my inheritance rings, Feners should have them. '_

_' **Alright Master, I'll go.'**_

_'Make sure to be in a body, not a pile of moving mush, or a skeleton, a body. A human body. Alrig- damnit Mors don't just fly away!'_

Hadrian sighed. It was already too late. He just hoped Mors didn't scare anyone to death......he probably would. Hadrian looked around for the nearest shop to go to. 

Hadrian first went to  _Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions_ to get some clothes. Well 'clothes' wasn't the right word. A whole wardrobe was correct. But he would get them in Knockturn. He could only purchase Hogwarts robes' from here so he entered the store. Before he could open his mouth a magic tape measure started taking down his sizes. 

"Hello there sweetie, where's your parents?" 

There was a plump woman standing behind a counter with short brown hair, and brown eyes. She reminded him of Molly Weasley. 

Hadrian smiled and gave the most innocent look while putting a bit of magic in his voice. It was a trick he learned from Mors, when doing this it allowed the speaker to entrance the listener. Almost like a siren. "My parents are next door at Flourish and Blotts, getting my books! I'm going to Hogwarts this year! They sent me over to get my robes!" 

As he finished giving his orders the womans' eyes glazed over a bit. "Oh alright sweetie, go up on that stand over there. Just the standard Hogwarts robes?"

"Yes ma'am, could you charm them to grow with me? It would mean a lot! My parents have the money if your wondering. 

"Of course! Let me get right on it."

Harry got three sets of four robes. One set for winter, and another for summer, and the last one for casual. As he shrunk the robes and paid with his money he made his way to  _Ted's Trunks for Witches and Wizards_.

He ordered a specially made trunk with extra space, wheels on the bottom, and a retractable handle. He also got his initials charmed on and made his way back out. He also went to  _Flourish and Blotts, Slug and Jiggers' Apothcary,_  and  _Potage's Cauldron Shop_.

After making all his purchases in Diagon Alley he turned to Knockturn Alley. There he bought robes from _Rose's Robes_  in green, black, gold, sliver, and kimonos. Hadrian had no idea Witches and Wizards sold Kimonos. After claiming Master of Death Hadrian traveled the world and landed in Japan for awhile. While there he came to like their culture. Yummy BL too. 

Pulling along his trunk that was practically decorated in protection spells and a feather light charm he finally realized he didn't know where he lived. Wandlessly and wordlessly he conjured a paper the goblins had gave him. Le Fay's Hill Side!? Since when did he have Le Fay's blood coursing through his veins? 

He decided not to put a question mark where Fate put a period. Apparating to the residence that was now his he felt a strong wind of pure magic. 

It was beautiful. The residence was about one fourth the size of Hogwarts and was on top of a cliff where you could see a big river and valley that was on both sides of it. On the outskirts of the valley was the beginning of a forest. 

"Master, I've brought the rings."

Hadrian jumped a couple feet in the air, not that he would admit it.

"MERLIN FUCKING MORGANA, A LITTLE WARNING NEXT TIME!?"

"Apologies Master."

"Your not fucking sorry and you know it. Let's just go inside damnit." 

With death behind him in a human body he walked down a trail of stone that led to the house, if you could even call it that. As soon as he touched the door the vines that were wrapped around the house suddenly bloomed and the doors opened by themselves.

The inside was clean. Not a spec of dust anywhere. It looked like it was all furnished and ready to live in. Hadrian was pretty sure the pantry and cabinets were full of food too.  _'Must be the Goblin's work. They did a good job of it too.'_

Hadrian walked around and set his trunk down on a black sofa. It felt like home, and it also felt cozy. 

Hadrian sat down on the black sofa and closed his eyes. It had been a long day after all. He was sure Death would take care of the rest.  

**_'Sweet dreams Master.'_ **

 

 

                     

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didya enjoy? Any mistakes? Any friends?  
> If so take these careful steps:
> 
> 1.Leave Kudos  
> 2\. Comment mistakes down below  
> 3\. Share with your friends! Hits, hits, HITS!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it!  
> Edit: 4/25/18: Added chapter to my other story! Percy Jackson and The Family   
> Oh and even though it says complete its not XD i gotta change dat!


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